I still remember the first day I rebelled against authority and spit in the face of my creator.

I was sick...writhing on the floor, slime oozing from my face holes, burning like a year old kitten in heat sick.

I was taking regular breaks from a Mad Max marathon to shoot vile excretions from my mouth pocket into the toilet bowl. During one of these mucus moments, I ran to the bathroom to give an abortion to this real nasty two pound slime baby; holding it in my mouth felt like smuggling cottage cheese in a garbage bag. I had it down to a science at this point, open the door, spit and flush...but this time my wad of snot landed right on my mother's birth hole while she was taking a dump.

Sometimes rebellion can be exhilarating and sometimes it can keep you from masturbating for weeks.